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That Smile of Yours. (TW SA)

Title: That Smile of Yours.
Rating: pg?
Summary: Ianto feels Jack’s eyes watching him all day long, and he doesn’t quite know what to make of the way he feels....
Characters/Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Disclaimer: the characters all belong to RTD and the BBC, etc, I don’t own them
Author’s Notes: Another of those stories that has been sitting on my computer for ages, nearly finished, and as I decided to tidy it all up, here’s another story! Lyrics are Darius, Colourblind. This is technically a very short sequel to Nobody..


That Smile of Yours.

When I feel your eyes on me,
Feeling fine, its sublime,
When that smile of yours creeps into my mind.
Darius –Colour Blind.


I could see him, out the corner of my eye, watching me behind the glass panels of his office. My stomach turned cartwheels, which I tried to ignore as I sat at a computer, taking in some readings coming through that Tosh had instructed me to record. In the back of my mind I was thinking that I would be much more useful picking up empty coffee mugs. As I did this, I couldn’t help but glance over at Jack’s office from time to time. He was still watching.

He did that often, watched me like that. At first I had found it unnerving, but now I was used to it. Maybe somewhere in the back of my mind I liked it. I would certainly worry if he stopped. He didn’t seem to be doing much work, other than watching us - but then again, I knew that he thought we hadn’t seen him just watching us.

It was Gwen who broke his attention. I glanced over at his office, his back now turned as he talked to Gwen. I smiled to myself and then moved away, out of sight to the coffee machine.

Our minds seeming to be almost in sync, I heard his voice echoing through the hub minutes later, as he called my name, asking for some coffee. Smiling to myself, I prepared the coffees.

I handed out the coffees among the team, and then started tidying up. I didn’t mind doing all this, I was grateful of a job – and to get into Torchwood.

I picked up empty coffee mugs and loaded them onto a tray, ready for a fresh batch later. My mind wasn’t really in the hub; it never really was these days. My routine had become so mundane that it was easy enough to think of other things. I wasn’t complaining, of course not. I kept that quiet image in control, the one which I liked to present – that was the easy part. I didn’t mind not having anything to do. The hard part was managing to focus when he called my name or asked me to do something beyond my usual demands.

I knew that he was still watching me, and I felt my cheeks heat up, again, as I felt his eyes on me. I didn’t mind it, but I didn’t know quite what to think of it. I didn’t know what I felt – to hell with what he felt, what did I feel? Did I feel anything?

I couldn’t deny it really, of course I did. He was the most attractive man I had ever seen. There was just something so charming and wonderful about him.
There didn’t seem to be anything much else for me to do round the hub, the team were all busy, and so I decided to go down to the archives – my new favourite place to hide away.

I saw Jack was still standing by his office door and so I approached him, alarming him slightly I think. I told him what I was doing and disappeared, still aware of his eyes following me. That feeling in my stomach was intensifying by the second.

Comments

( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
fiwen1010
Sep. 9th, 2010 11:08 pm (UTC)
Sweet
Gxxx
sophie_03
Sep. 10th, 2010 09:49 am (UTC)
thank you! x
owensheart
Sep. 10th, 2010 07:22 am (UTC)
lovely story, you write Ianto's voice very well.
sophie_03
Sep. 10th, 2010 09:49 am (UTC)
thank you, thats so kind! :) x
badly_knitted
Sep. 10th, 2010 09:16 pm (UTC)
I always enjoy getting a look at Ianto's thoughts. He's a very complex person, I get the feeling his mind is always whirring away with all kinds of thoughts, but that Jack is one of the things he thinks about most!

Very good =)
sophie_03
Sep. 12th, 2010 09:37 am (UTC)
I agree, it really is interesting! haha, probably so!
Thank you so much!
samueljames
Oct. 1st, 2010 11:18 am (UTC)
Great look at Ianto.
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )

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quotes and things

“He’s like fire and ice and rage. He’s like the night and the storm and the heart of the sun…

He’s ancient and forever. He burns at the centre of the time and he can see the turn of the universe…and he’s wonderful.”

“They say you’re supposed to talk to people when they’re in a coma, don’t they? I have absolutely no idea whether you can hear me Jack.

I never heard of anyone coming out of one and carrying on the conversation. So I suspect it’s probably something the doctors tell us to do. To make us feel better, rather than help you. We don’t feel quite so useless and helpless. We get the feeling there’s still some sort of purpose in our lives. We’re not just waiting. Waiting for the science to work. Or the miracle to happen. Or the nightmare to end.

I’m not much of a talker Jack, you know that, but I’ll talk to you now on the off chance that it helps.

Just promise me, if you’re hearing this, that when you come round - and you’re going to Jack. You’re gonna come out of this - just promise me you’ll bring up anything I say to you now. How’s that? We got a deal?

This must be the longest I’ve ever looked at you and not see you smile. I’ve watched you in your sleep, did you know that? So many times.

Just woken up beside you in the middle of the night, and watched you. Watched your eyes move behind your eyelids as you dreamed. I tried to imagine what a man like you could possibly dream about. Things you’ve seen. The lives you’ve lived. The people you’ve loved. I wondered if you were dreaming about me, I hoped you’d be dreaming about me.

But let’s be honest Jack. I’m nothing more than a blip in time for you. Everyday I grow a little older. But you’re immortal. You’ve already lived a thousand lifetimes. How could you watch me grow old and die? How can I watch you live and never age a day?

I suppose we both know that will never be a problem. Not in this job. No-one in Torchwood ever lives to draw their pension, do they? Even if, by some miracle, I survive to see my hair turn grey, or god forbid fall out, I don’t kid myself that you’d still be around to see it.

One day you’ll go again, just like you did before, and this time you won’t be back.

Maybe that’s what you’re dreaming about those nights when I watch you sleeping. Maybe that’s why, even when you sleep, I see you smile. But you haven’t gone yet, Jack. I know that. I know you’re coming back to me.”

"But you never will be just a blip in time, Ianto Jones. Not for me."
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